top of page

NEIL SHEVLIN COACHING

A CLEAR PATH FOR YOUR JOURNEY

secta_edited.jpg

Are you in an April rut? How to snap out of it.


Spring has arrived. The weather for most of us is either warming up having been cold or cooling down having been hot (you are in Autumn/fall). It's time for ease as the year is well underway. So, in theory, we should not be in a rut however many of us are. You are not unique, we all get stuck in ruts. You are going through the motions and not getting anywhere. You do not get excited about things anymore and feel like none of your goals are being met. You're stuck. The good news is that there are easy ways to get back on track and feel mentally and physically better. Let's discover the why and how today - why this feeling and how to feel better.


Likely, you did not notice for a while that you are in a rut. Ruts tend to build slowly. While you feel that you are stuck in a rut, the next steps can be difficult to work out. It is important to recognize that not all ruts are the same. The suggestions below are just a start and I advise speaking to a coach or therapist to help you if needed.


Some characteristics of your rut may include:

  • Your days are monotonous

  • You are unmotivated

  • You want or know that you need to change however it seems overwhelming or you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.


Let's beat this. You are ok. Tell yourself that. You are where you need to be; your past consists of memories now and you can control how you use them, and it is good to be present and look at now. There are various reasons why you are not feeling at your best: your kids are under pressure at school to obtain grades, kids are going to college/traveling soon and you have anxiety, money worries, job security worries, not liking your job, relationship struggles, and the list goes on. Life can be overwhelming and people that seem fine are sometimes the ones who are struggling most. I would like to say that perception is a funny thing though it is no laughing matter. These are all things in life that are real for you. Being advised to “deal with it” is not helpful and will not provide medium to longer-term fixes. When I speak with clients, a common theme is a general uneasiness and it is not usually caused directly by money or things in their immediate control however we work on small changes that provide short, medium, and longer-term happiness and make sense of things. Other things then fall into place once the foundation is secured for the short to medium term.


Chat with friends and find out what they're doing.

Be deliberate in listening and not speaking too much. Listen to learn, not to respond. Hear their news and ask them how they are. I connected this week with a friend after a long time by text and learned that she has taken up singing lessons to improve her karaoke! She also took nice vacations to national parks. I am so happy to hear she is doing well and enjoying life. I spoke to another friend who visited his father in Florida recently and is planning further trips to the family in June. Friends can inspire you. In many cases also, they will be delighted for you to join them in some activities. They can also open doors and save you lots of time researching how to do things.


Catch up with friends, listen, and learn what they are up to. It may provide you with some inspiration.


Help someone out.

Throughout childhood, we are programmed to learn a certain way at school sometimes with subjects we like and do not like. We then start working or go to college and learn a certain way again. When do we learn to do things that we love? Do we find time for this? Spending some time per day (even a small amount of time) doing something you love helps lift your spirits and things seem easier that otherwise are a chore. This also relates to helping people out. Not everything needs to be monitory. If you can help family or friends out, offer it to them. Something that seems easy to you is not easy to others and in some cases, they will never learn it. They also may not have the means to pay for the services. Step up and help others out. Trust me, this will bring you lots of joy especially when you and the person are the only ones that know about it. There is no need to share these things on social media. It is for you to enjoy.



Help someone out. Giving back is a great way to lift your spirits.


Say hello to people.

This could be as you pass on the sidewalk/footpath or in a store. In cities, this can be a little strange as people are busy (the alternative is to perform this action in your building corridors). For some people, this can be an uncomfortable thing to do however I assure you that the majority of people that you greet will respond and lift your spirits. You never know how much others need a lift, and you can provide that. I challenge you to do this for one day and see how it goes. If you are in a store, greet the store associate. Ask them how their day is. Interact with people and see where it takes you.



Greet people more. The interaction will bring you great enjoyment


Today's takeaways:


  • Catch up with friends, listen, and learn what they are up to. It may provide you with some inspiration.

  • Help someone out. Giving back is a great way to lift your spirits.

  • Greet people more. The interaction will bring you great enjoyment



We are all feeling a little rutty these days. Give yourself a bit of grace and good luck on your journey.


19 views

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page